Domesticity

For as long as I can remember, I’ve enjoyed homemaking. I knew early on that I was never going to be as skilled as my mom and grandma in the homemaking arts. They could both sew and embroider and mend like nobody’s business and I never got the hang of needlework even though they tried to teach me. I guess I’m not even talking about all those almost-lost skills of darning socks or quilting, I’m talking about the day-to-day making of a comfortable house. For a long time, I was embarrassed to admit how fulfilling I found keeping a house, even when it was just me living in it. It seemed like I should be more ambitious with my time and find enjoyment and fullfillment in a career. I felt old-fashioned. Somewhere along the way, I embraced my urge for homemaking. It certainly is more culturally accepted when you are married and have a family, and I enjoyed those years of it being an acceptable thing to “be” – a homemaker.

But here’s what I think…maybe in some way, washing the dishes and making sure there are clean clothes to wear and milk and bread and bananas in the house and a spare tube of toothpaste under the sink is making the world a little better, a little more orderly and peaceful for a few souls. It might not be a cure for cancer or world peace, but putting clean sheets on a bed so that it is nice and comfortable to lie your head down at night is one thing we can do for those we love.

It’s good to have work that you love and work that enhances the world we live in. But I believe we all live life most of all when we clean the tub, scoop the litterboxes, vacuum the rug, walk the dog, change out the empty toilet paper roll and all the other seemingly inconsequential tasks of daily life. So, bravo to you if you’re the person changing the diaper and checking the homework and taking the pets to the vet and unloading the dishwasher and cleaning the toilet…all these things are about as important as anything I know. I am grateful that I love these actions, instead of resenting that they need to be done…again and again and again.

You Can’t Go Home Again

Maybe it’s a consequence of getting older, but I find myself longing for the “old days” more and more. After some recent travel, I realize that the world has become a place that I don’t feel entirely comfortable in anymore. It’s more noticeable in places where I’ve lived and things have “progressed”, but also in places I’ve wanted to visit and pictured in my mind and then the reality doesn’t match the fantasy.

There are many things in our lives today that improve our existence, but my recent travels have made it plainly clear to me that the constantly increasing pace and demand of life is unsustainable. It makes me feel sad and a bit anxious, but mostly it makes me feel out of touch with society.

I’ve had a picture in my head of Amish country for years. I went to Lancaster County last weekend. It wasn’t anything like I pictured. I feel a little dumb that I thought that it was some sort of idyllic place where modernity hadn’t encroached yet. Of course it’s been modernized. I can’t say with certainty that the Amish have turned to modern ways, but it isn’t a place that feels quaint and old fashioned. It’s a place where the Amish wait for the bus along side the busy highway, where Amish goods are commercialized and sold to tourists who frequently act like entitled jackasses. It’s a place where busy people speed by the Amish buggies on the road with little reverence for a speed limit that is already dangerous for encountering buggies and bicycles (the favored Amish mode of transportation). When I went to Niagara Falls in the spring, while the falls are spectacular, I couldn’t figure out exactly how they had taken the photos of our hotel that were posted on the website. By the looks of it, it was the only hotel near the falls…some exceptional photo trickery or Photoshop, perhaps, as there were plenty of hotels and eating establishments and stores. And, apparently a light show projected onto the falls themselves, though I didn’t see that because I’m an old person that goes to sleep early. I’m glad I didn’t see that though, because it would have just made me sad. Today, the majestic falls aren’t enough, let’s add a light show to them to really jazz them up. Sigh. My trip to Idaho wasn’t much better, when you are away for any amount of time the changes slap you in the face when you visit…the new strip mall on what used to be farm land, the chain stores popping up everywhere you look, the new highway interchanges built to deal with all the people leading their busy lives.

I wanted Lancaster County to be somewhere that was pure and unchanged. I wanted to believe that there was a place that people held to their values and lived a slower, more reasonable pace. I’ve been feeling very let down since coming home. My fantasy of a quaint Amish lifestyle was quashed.

I don’t know what the answer is. Part of me really believes that we are moving toward an exciting new time in the world and that the technology that we have today is a wonderful thing. The other part of me wishes we still lived in a world where things moved a little slower and people weren’t so rushed and hectic and uncaring toward one another and the earth.

I’m becoming such a curmudgeon.

Gettysburg battlefield. I’m so glad that this land has been preserved, otherwise, you know we would have put a Family Dollar, Hair Express and a Hallmark store in this spot.

A modern Amish barn. If you look closely, you can see the buggy parked in the barn there. I wasn’t expecting the homes and barns to be so modern looking.

Amish (or maybe not) dairy farms for as far as the eye can see. I think the Amish have done so well because of the Hershey chocolate factory. Hershey needs a LOT of milk. The Amish provide, and do pretty darn well at it, I think. At least, their new homes and barns say they do pretty well. This is a rare photo that I took that doesn’t have an (ironic) huge power line running right through the farm land.

Does this scene need a light show? I don’t think so. Of course, the cynic in me says if it’s lit up at night then more tourists are out later, eating, drinking, buying, spending. Of course they decided to light it up at night.